The Extraordinarily Autonomous and Authentic Cardi B.♡

Throughout my essay writing journey on this platform, my perspective has been, for the most part, "equal opportunity" with regard to subject matter about the sexes: I have written about the incredible talent of Chadwick Boseman, my intimate and short-lived friendship with Kanye West, to the heard-around-the-world, bone-chilling slap of Will Smith to Chris Rock, which, I subsequently took down because of how controversial the happening and my words were about it. But after all, this page IS called, "Yes, i Brought It Up," right? Still, I am most drawn to telling stories about, reporting the issues of, and overall celebrating women of all kinds. Cardi B, who no matter what she does or says continues to maintain a long-standing residency atop the pop culture radar, is the woman who moves my pen at this moment.

I have, for a time, been fascinated by Belcalis Marlenis Almánzar, aka, Cardi B. Though from major hits of hers like "Bodak Yellow" to "WAP", the only line I can quote is, 'Why don't you park that big Mack truck right in this little garage'-to which I exclaimed out loud after realizing for the first time what she said and meant- and of course what the acronym, "W.A.P." stands for. I do not intricately know Cardi B.'s musical catalogue that has been decorated numerous times, exemplified through multiple Billboard, ASCAP, American Music, and MTV Awards, also earning her the title of the first solo female artist in history to win the Grammy for Best Rap Album, a Billboard "Woman of the Year" award in 2020, and is the only female rapper with the most number one singles AND the highest certified female rapper of all time in US digital sales. Yet, I do understand why she leapt past the realm of music onto popular culture's center stage for Time's 100 most influential people in 2018. Cardi B. has proven to have a vast impact in the world. This impact does involve her music, yes, and Cardi B., simply as herself, also has an innate ability to connect to people everywhere from a place of common humanity and honesty. 

Cardi B.'s recent conversation with Jay Shetty on his podcast, "On Purpose", confirmed who I believe she is: A woman who has earned her keep, and one, who is completely transparent and unapologetic, refusing to be controlled. She and I might navigate from different journeys in the world, but I absolutely relate to her in this way.  When she spoke passionately about her greatest role in life- motherhood- mothers from where I sit to Park Avenue in New York City would consider her intentions and in some ways, how she goes about fulfilling those intentions in alignment with our own. She hires top-tier academic tutors for her children after they arrive home from school to ensure they are ahead with their studies- an advantage she deems paramount to have. Cardi B. is a no-nonsense mom, who after owning up to not using the best grammar when she speaks, proclaimed that her children will be "better" than she is. She is an admitted 'cursing sailor mouth', but not to demean or abuse her children, but rather to emphasize that they will 'be somebody." Noted organizational psychologist, Adam Grant (@AdamGrant) conducted an in-depth analysis amongst 73,000 people and found that when used to emphasize a point, "cursing rarely is a symbol of low class, but it often a mark of high authenticity." He states that the evidence "of swearing predicts a higher rate of honesty", and that "a little profanity shows that you're being real and you give a damn." As it pertains to her children specifically, Cardi B. gives more than "a damn." Cardi B. grew up in a neighborhood where visiting the nearby pool was a dangerous task that prevented her from learning how to swim. Today, she uses her resources so that her children can be proficient. And the fact that her children have been clad with kiddie Chanel and Hermès Birkin bags and wear diamonds since before they were able to string together full intelligible sentences is not up for discussion. Cardi B. has been intentional with bestowing her mini-me's everything she did not have as a child. Call her what you want, but you will not call her a negligent mom. Motherhood and leveling up for her children seem to be Cardi B.'s highest priority and calling, and I believe her. 

I was most warmed when Cardi B. highlighted the teachings of both her maternal and paternal grandmothers who, between the two of them, each bore an average of one dozen children. She spoke with pride about how they emphasized hard work and doing what was needed to provide for their children. Cardi B. remembered one of her grandmothers speaking about her future:  "Your children will be your responsibility, no matter what." I know that message all too well. Cardi B., mother of 3 (with 1 on the way), took this wisdom to heart, and has not skipped a beat with any of her offspring, though she is currently going through a divorce with the father of her first 3 children.

While speaking with Jay it was not a challenge for Cardi B. to let down her guard, an endearing trait that has helped and might have even hurt her at times. She was most tender and vulnerable when discussing her children, yet, when remembering her own childhood memories, Cardi B. kept her hands firmly on the wheel. She recalled witnessing her mother being put down by a social worker, wishing that her mother would stand up for herself, but sadly understood somehow, even as a child, that her mom's ability to self-advocate was limited, especially if she wished to receive public assistance to help feed a young Belcalis and her younger sister, Hennessy Carolina. Cardi B.'s mom was forced to absorb any berating and take it on the chin, but the child Cardi B. was enraged. Any of us who as marginalized children observed our mothers being belittled or put down often declare fervently to ourselves in the moment that we would never find ourselves in the same predicament. For many of us, all we can do is hope for the stars to align in an extraordinary way to ensure a different outcome because the likelihood of changing the future is slim. For Cardi B., despite growing up in an environment where the expectations for youth do not compare to where she ultimately has arrived professionally, banking on herself and being as real as they come is how Cardi B. broke her family's cycle.

Cardi B. is, today, a fiercely independent rapper artist by trade, and since her first single, "Bodak Yellow" made its way to the mainstream in 2017, soon elevating to certified diamond status, she became the first female rapper to top the Hot 100 with a solo song in the 21st century. Since her debut, the public has been captivated by her physical aesthetics, from her body to the way she talks. She coined the term, "Okkkkkrrrrrr", and gave a different perspective to the stripper profession by leaning on the fact that it was "work", or a means to an end to elevate herself in the world. For women, using one's body, or in kinder terms, our "feminine wile" is age old, but because of the negative connotation associated, women who utilize this advantage often do it quietly. Certain actresses would deny under oath that it was not talent alone that earned them a title role in a film or show, and even in corporate America women have felt they had to compromise themselves sexually to climb the ladder. But while Cardi B. has admitted to using the sensual skill of pole dancing to get ahead, to suggest that she compromised herself sexually, or had sexual relations to secure any advancement in her career, she'd immediately correct you. If Cardi B. "slept with" anyone, it was because of her own sense of pleasure and it was absolutely her choice. Other female artists and personalities can testify that stripping served as a stepping stone on their road to professional elevation, but Cardi B. is the one who, dare I say, "normalized" it, and in my opinion instilled power to the woman vs depicting the act as something done at the behest of or being led by a man. 

There were rumors that she set up a man after luring him in for sexual services, but, no one ever spread a rumor that Cardi B. worked for a pimp. When her first single rose to prominence, a series of events, including her chart-topping, multiple diamond earning music kept Cardi B. in the spotlight. Run-ins with fellow women rappers, accusations of physical violence with her at the helm of it all, but Cardi B. has never been depicted as a helpless victim. No matter what, Cardi B. has always given the impression that the vehicle of autonomy was hers to steer. 

I don't fault Cardi B. because she chose stripping to create a broader path for herself, and I salute her for being able to remain self-reliant throughout that journey, albeit a journey that no doubt denigrates women, and is not at all for the faint of heart. Many women do not make it out of that treacherous world alive, both figuratively and literally. And they absolutley don't recieve the luck of using that act a "stepping stone" to lead them to any level of sustainability. Born to a mixed race Trinidadian mother and Dominican father in Washington Heights neighborhood of  New York's South Bronx, Cardi B. was, as Pulitzer Prize-winning writer and journalist Isabel Wilkerson geniusly distinguished, "caste" in this country by heritage at birth, and if Cardi B. followed the narrow road of lowered expectations that American society lay before her and every female child who was raised within close proximity to her, the chances of her becoming the "Cardi B." we all know today would be slim to none. Cardi B.'s road was beyond a sacrifice, and one that she would never wish for her own daughter to traverse. Cardi B. happened to possess the rare and right amount of focus and fearlessness to succeed. I liken Cardi B.'s courage to the legions of young girls who take a life chance to bravely travel across uncertain waters to this country from other oppressive and limiting environments with the hopes of a better life on the shores of America. Although Cardi B. IS an American, as are both her parents, even within America, the barriers pre-constructed to restrict advancement of marginalized people, i.e., people of color, often prevail. Sheer miracles are what is needed for many of us to ascend beyond poverty in this country. Without the obvious intellectual shine that put those of us on a track of heightened education and ultimately securing a "good job", for both men and women, the only other ways to gain wealth is through our physical propensities of sports and entertainment. There was never a question about how smart was a young Belcalis, but her intelligence was not conventionally exuded. So a college-aged Cardi B. held tight to her inner smarts and led with traits that society readily accepts for a woman, rising to a level of confidence and thus transported herself to her next move. The rest is, as we have collectively agreed is now a word, herstory. 

In her talk with Jay Shetty, Cardi B.'s human beingness verifies as her sweet spot. She spoke truths and wisdom about the challenges we can all face in life throughout various socio-economics and circumstances. She laughed at her own jokes, and was stoic when she spoke about topics close to her heart. Yes, she wore a bouffant purple wig, with the same length of dagger-edged fingernails that changed her baby's diaper when wearing them. I have even heard about the plastic surgery rumors. But Cardi B. is no caricature or character of anyone. She is in all ways, herself. She has a gift of speaking in a very stripped-down manner that allows for her to be seen through a lens that waters down all the exaggerated cosmetics. Cardi B. offers a level of sincerity that others in her rarified air of celebrity are apprehensive to publicly share, but she divulged that she is often quietly heralded by some of them for speaking up on issues that her fellow entertainer peers feel would jeopardize their careers. It would seem to me that everyone could take a page out of Cardi B.'s template of "when to be transparent," just because of how well this route has worked for her. She is not uptight or restrained by anyone. For better and best practices, Cardi B.'s level of observed personal freedom is aspirational.